If you’re feeling unconfident during sexy, you’re not alone. One in ten women report never feeling confident during sexy.

However, just because sexual unconfidence is common doesn’t mean it isn’t tough to deal with. You should learn to become more sexually confident so that you can better enjoy sex.

This article will walk you through a few ways you can improve your sexual confidence.

1. Focus On What You’re Good At

While part of your lack of confidence might come from not being confident in your body, there’s likely at least something you do right. Maybe you’re better at oral sex than penetrative sex; maybe you’re best during foreplay. Whatever your situation is, you should lean into it, rather than try to hide it.

2. Explore Your Fantasies

Sexual confidence often stems from a psychological place. If you have a few sexual fantasies that you’ve never lived out, and even feel quite ashamed of, you might be holding in a certain level of sexual tension.

Explore these fantasies alone so that you become more confident with them. Do some research on the internet about other people like you with similar fantasies, so you don’t quite feel so alone. This is the first step to finding others like you, which will truly let your sexual confidence shine.

3. Ask For What You Want

This one can seem counterproductive. One of the signs of not being confident in the bedroom is not being able to ask for what you want. However, if you want to improve sexual confidence, you have to start somewhere.

We recommend asking for something small at first with a trusted partner. Before you even start your sexual encounter, set some boundaries, and let them know about some of the things you like. This will set the tone of a more sexually open and confident encounter.

When you learn to ask for something small, you’ll learn to ask for what you want in general. This will quickly lead to asking for bigger things, which signifies more sexual confidence.

4. Focus on the Cosmetics

Cosmetic surgery isn’t the first thing that should pop into your head if you want to feel more sexually confident. However, if there’s something about your body that you’ve wanted to change for a while, it could improve your sexual confidence vastly to simply go ahead and do it.

Plastic surgery does not carry the stigma that it used to. Now, rather than being seen as vain, it’s seen as a way to reclaim body defects and improve body positivity. This is why more people than ever are getting cosmetic surgery.

You can improve your secondary sex characteristics — as many people do — or even just improve a non-sexual part of your body. Many people also have genital imperfections that keep them out of the confident mood in the bedroom.

For example, if you’re insecure about the size of your labia, you should consider a labiaplasty. This is a discrete surgery that will mainly work to improve your own confidence.

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Become More Sexually Confident

As you can see, there are clear steps you can take to become more sexually confident, from the practical to the psychological, to the cosmetic. Try these tips, and you’re far more likely to enjoy your sex life.

For more articles like this, check out our “people” section.